I Am Tala
by Belladonna Andromeda
Summary: People fear me. People hate me. They say I am unnatural. They call me an 'it'. But I wonder, does an 'it' feel pain. Because I hurt.


Title - I Am Tala

Genre - Angst

Warnings - None

Pairing(s) - None

000

"What are you?"

If I was given a dollar for every time someone asked me that I would've been a millionaire. I can't even begin to count the amount of people who asked me that very question. Usually, it came in the form of an insult - something that meant to hurt me. Other times, it was a sincere question that lacked tact, though it's difficult to say which one affected me more.

Eventually, one likes to think they've become immune to it. But in the end, they're just lying to themselves. Because no matter how old the wound is, it reopens every time leaving an even deeper scar.

It's hard when everyone either fears me, hates me, abhors me or mocks me. It's hard to live in a world where no one understands what it's like.

I don't hate them. I couldn't even if I wanted to, because I don't know how. And in a way, I am lucky because if I had known I don't think I would've been able to live with it. I know that hatred does strange things to people.

But nevertheless, it hurts. Knowing they watch me, wondering - knowing they talk about me, gossiping. They call me a freak, an abomination, a creep. And I can't but wonder if they're right. Am I that different? Am I that unnatural?

I don't remember much about my time in the abbey. The only thing I remember is pain and this strange, surreal feeling - like I'm drowning.

I sometimes replay memories in my mind. Repeating the experience by myself, if you will. Like the day, several weeks after we'd been freed from the abbey, some of the bladers decided to do their Christmas shopping together. It had been a pleasant surprise when they invited us, the Demolition Boys, to go with them.

I remembered how Mariah had actually tried to be nice to me and asked me if I liked the pink shirt she told me. I told her I didn't really care. She looked at me, I might've offended her slightly, and told me to be serious. I told her I was, but she kept pestering me to speak the truth and in the end I think I might have freaked her out badly.

She had smiled strangely and walked off. She never talked to me again. That hurt me. It really did.

And then there was Tyson. The Bladebreakers and Demolition Boys were watching a movie. Some kind of horror-themed film with the ever-popular screaming scenes and buxom blonds. Everyone had been scared. Even Kai, even _Bryan_, had jumped occasionally. Everyone, except me.

Tyson had been scared out of his mind. It took several minutes to calm him down enough to speak properly again. But once he was he turned to me, a strange look in his eyes and asked me how I could have watched such a vulgar movie without showing any kind of emotion.

I had told him I didn't know, but he didn't believe me. He glared at me, accused me of enjoying the massacre on the screen and ignored me ever since.

It's strange, how I always choose the memories that hurt me, instead of the ones who gave me a funny, nice warmth in my belly. Then again, I hadn't really expected them to treat me like everyone else. I guess, it had been hope that led me to believe they would embrace me like a friend as well. Even though I am _different_.

Even my team is distant with me. Avoiding me whenever possible and only engaging into conversation when they have to. That hurts too. Seeing my own teammates act like I'm some kind of... monster.

It hadn't taken long for the media to find out about me either. They found it very interesting. Within no time every magazine, every newspaper, every gossip program spread the news to the world. The wound in my chest growing larger and larger as I slowly came to realization that no one wanted to be my fan anymore, nobody cheered on the Demolition Boys anymore.

My last memory shows that I was sitting in the kitchen looking, or rather glaring, at my coffee when the phone rang. It was Kai asking me to come over. He sounded different. It was like someone was forcing him to talk. It made me think for a moment but then again it was usually one of the others who called maybe he did it for a dare. He never really liked talking.

What had confused me further was the fact that my teammates had left without me. But could they have known Kai called.

I found myself walking over the Hiwatari mansion, feeling wary and cold. I stopped as the gates closed automatically behind me. When I saw that I was surrounded by armed men dressed in black, all whom were pointing their weapon at me, I knew my time had come.

I waited patiently for something to happen. One of them, their leader I suspected, walked forwards and awkwardly spoke to me.

"Put your hands were we can see them and walk over to us slowly."

I shook me head, refusing to comply . My hands remained were they were. In my jeans pocket. I raised my eyebrow when I saw normally dressed people behind the… what were they? Cops? FBI?

"I will ask you one more time. If you don't do it we will have to shoot you." Said the same man. 'Put your hands in the air!'

"Why?" I whispered but I knew they heard me. The man looked at the person beside him and gave me an odd look.

"Because you're a robot aren't you?"

"Well actua-"

"So in other words that means you're an 'it' and because an 'it' can belong to someone-"

"Get to the point!" I snapped getting angry the minute he called me an 'it'.

"You are the property of Boris (?) and Voltaire Hiwatari. You're under arrest due to the chance that you might be chipped. If that is so than we can modify you to work for us instead."

How could they? How could they call me an _'it'_. How could they call me the property of those evil demons? Something in my stomach clenched, my muscles began to tremble and tense though I couldn't figure out why. I felt.. I felt... angry?

"Put you hands were we can see them and walk over to us slowly." The man repeated.

I won't do it. I'd rather die then-

"FIRE!"

Pain rushed through my body. I felt numb. I felt sick. I felt like a dozen daggers had been pierced through me body. But I was still standing. My vision became blurred and the voice of the man dressed in black seemed to have increased. All the voices around me seemed to have gone up. I could hear familiar voices cry my name. Kai. Bryan. Ian. Spencer.

Suddenly my sight became clearer and looked around.

"What _are_ you!"

Oil. Tears of oil spilled from my eyes. People gasped when they saw them. I heard a woman say 'oh my goodness, the poor thing'. I ignored her. A burning feeling inside me came when I heard her say _thing_.

I looked straight into the man's wide brown eyes. Pierced his soul with my blue ones.

"I... am.... Tala"

And everything went dark.

Thus here I float. In the nothingness of the former world who would not miss me, in the shadows of my past life which served no purpose. Within memories of no value which I would not cherish. But with a smile on my face I will remember. I will not forget.

"What are you?"

That question makes me laugh now.

"I am Tala…."

_How would you feel if your blood was oil?_

_They ask if it hurts less cause my heart's of metal_

_Never thought that you would be so cruel to me_

_But if I must fall_

_Then I'll fall silent and proud_

_Ignoring those words, the hurt, the pain, the screams and agony…_


End file.
